Did He Really See Her?

“No one can fall in love with me at first sight.”

Chandni knew this truth of her life from the time she was a toddler. She had heard the story about the disappointment she was to her mother for being born with average looks.

She tried to overcompensate for her looks by studying hard, getting good grades and excelling in sports. She never threw tantrums, accepted everything bought for her without complaints and gave in to the meal her weight-conscious mother placed in front of her.

After all, what could be worse than a fat girl with average looks?

Her father had no say; he had never even noticed it. He was too engrossed in making money for his trophy wife. He didn’t feel invisible. Her sister couldn’t have identified with her either, Vani had her mother’s looks and that is all that mattered in their household. 

She gave up on being acknowledged by her family. It took a long time for her to step out into the world alone but she felt exposed on her first day of college. It was embarrassing for her to be introduced to her classmates as the state-topper.

She smiled as their admiring gaze met her nervous eyes and kept praying for her days of obscure existence to return. A particular deep-set brown eyes haunted her for the rest of the day. Was her future finally catching up with her?

She decided to find out the next day and put her doubts to rest.

Stealing glances from him while pretending to look out the door seemed like good plan if only she wasn’t phased by his intent gaze and crude appearance.

She lowered her eyes every time they met his but with each round their eye-contact lingered a little more. She wanted to believe his kind eyes. She wanted to respond to his acknowledging smile. But her past was still fresh in her mind so the question remained.

Did he really see her?


This is my entry for this week’s Trifecta Writing Challenge – Week Eighty Four: Crude.  We had to write an entry between 33 to 333 words using the third definiton of the word “Crude”.

I’m so glad that my prompt suggestion was featured at Trifecta this week. I had my hands full with the Photo A Day Experiment (PADE) that I’m hosting at my blog but I thought I should attempt something for this prompt! And I’m glad I did.

If you enjoyed reading this then please vote for my entry at Trifecta.

About Ritu

Owner - Things To Rave About (http://toraveabout.com) Blogger, eager-to-learn know-it-all, jack of all trades, new writer, shopaholic, makeup obsessed, voracious reader, qualified techie, leader material!
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14 Responses to Did He Really See Her?

  1. Abhishek says:

    Really nice plot and interpretation

  2. Suzanne says:

    Poor girl! I hope she gets her happy ending. What a great story Ritu!

  3. Draug419 says:

    I like the hope in this. I really hope she puts her reservations aside and goes for it!

  4. Yes, take that first step! It will so be worth it.

    Thank you for linking up. Please don’t forget to return for the voting!

  5. yarnspinnerr says:

    Nicely crafted.

    Thanks for your visit :-)

  6. Lumdog says:

    This is an interesting and poignant story. You captured her insecurities so well.

  7. kallanannie says:

    So many young women grow up with exactly these insecurities and self-doubts. We put such pressure on our girls to be pretty and thin, thin, thin, and your story nails the consequences of that pressure. Really enjoyed this, even though I wanted to give Chandni’s parents a good shake.

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