Another day of the April A to Z Blogging Challenge and I am ready to share a little personal transformation story. Let’s get on to how I defeated the green eyed monster!
Girls are labelled as creatures who get envious easily, I do not agree with this classification anymore because I have seen many jealous men in my life almost as many as women. And once upon a time, I got jealous too.
It was not one particular instance, it was a period in my life when I thought being jealous was necessary (to fit in? to be cool? I have no idea). Teenagers! Do not ask me how I got that idea in my mind, I am guessing it was because I did not have good role models at the time. So anyway. Whenever something good happened to someone around me, anyone, I would feel bad for myself. And then my disappointment (since it did not happen to me) changed into anger which changed into jealousy. I convinced myself that “they” did not deserve whatever it was that they got. It didn’t matter whether I wanted it for myself or not, I only complained about them getting something they did not deserve (in my opinion).
It sounds so absurd now and I am a little ashamed of being insecure but that is how life is. We go through stages in life and that was my jealousy and no-one-understands-me stage. I am so over it and there a lot of factors that lead to this change. And the main thing is when I learned and applied “Law of Attraction” in my life.
I was not too much into reading or writing growing up but I really got into non-fiction around the age of 17. I read some really good books and some lessons were repeated in different words. The one particular thing that started haunting me was “No one can take away something you are destined to have.” Of course I am not being as articulate as those authors but this is how I understood it at the time.
Destiny, fate, God are important in my religion and I have always believed in these. So just the emphasis on these things made me realize how stupid I was for comparing my life and my journey with others whose life and journey was markedly different from mine.
It took me 6 years to overcome my insecurities and jealous streak completely. It was not easy at first but once I was diligent in enforcing those new ideas to my mind, it felt liberating. I stopped looking around me to see who was getting something they did not deserve or should not have received. And started focusing on what I really wanted.
And I have never been happier.
If at any moment I start feeling the green-eyed monster rising in me, I drown it with happy empowering thoughts. So when I compare my life to others, I just have to remind myself that we are different people, on a different journey and no one can take away anything that is rightfully destined to be mine. And my insecurities have vanished because I now know that no one can take away or impact what I think, how I feel and what I do; they can only control themselves just the way I can control my life and myself!
So whenever you see jealousy rising in you, remind yourself that just because something good happened to someone it does not mean that there is any lack in the world for you. Everyone is on their own journey and what happens or does not happen to someone else has nothing to do with you or your life. And sometimes just ask yourself if you even want the thing you are jealous about.
All of these little things do the trick if I ever fall into the old trap of jealousy again!
Do you get envious? How do you deal with jealousy?